| “ | On the eve of the year 2001 a vast crowd of interested spectators were present amidst the romantic ruins of Cohen’s Garage, on the former site of New York, to witness a fistic encounter between two renowned champions of the strange-story firmament—Two-Gun Bob, the Terror of the Plains, and Knockout Bernie, the Wild Wolf of West Shokan. [The Wolf was fresh from his correspondence course in physical training, sold to him by Mr. Arthur Leeds.] Before the battle the auguries were determined by the venerated Thibetan Lama Bill Lum Li, who evoked the primal serpent-god of Valusia and found unmistakable signs of victory for both sides. Cream-puffs were inattentively vended by Wladislaw Brenryk—the partakers being treated by the official surgeons, Drs. D. H. Killer and M. Gin Brewery. | „ | |
| ~ Introductory passage |
"The Battle that Ended the Century" is a short story by H. P. Lovecraft and R. H. Barlow.
Overview[]
Originally privately circulated amongst the Lovecraft Circle, this comedy short story is a plethora of in-jokes and references to the members of the circle under their nicknames, alter egos or other humorous names. H. P. Lovecraft wrote most of it, with additions and a Glossary of Names at the end of the short work provided by R. H. Barlow.
Glossary of Names[]
- Two-Gun Bob—Robert E. Howard
- Knockout Bernie, the Wild Wolf of West Shokan—Bernard Austin Dwyer, of West Shokan, N.Y.
- Bill Lum Li—William Lumley
- Wladislaw Brenryk—H. Warner Munn
- D. H. Killer—David H. Keller
- M. Gin Brewery—Miles G. Breuer
- A. Hijacked Barrell—A. Hyatt Verrill
- G. A. Scotland—George Allan England
- Frank Chimesleep Short, Jr—Frank Belknap Long, Jr.
- The Effjoy of Akkamin—Forrest J Ackerman
- Mrs. M. Blunderage—Margaret Brundage (artist for Weird Tales)
- Mr. C. Half-Cent—C. C. Senf (artist for Weird Tales)
- Mr. Goofy Hooey—Hugh Rankin (artist for Weird Tales)
- W. Lablache Talcum—Wilfred Blanch Talman
- Horse Power Hateart—Howard Phillips Lovecraft
- M. le Comte d’Erlette—August Derleth (author of Evening in Spring)
- J. Caesar Warts—Julius Schwartz
- H. Kanebrake—H. C. Koenig (employed by the Electrical Testing Laboratories)
- H. Wanderer—Howard Wandrei
- Robertieff Essovitch Karovsky—Robert S. Carr
- Teaberry Quince—Seabury Quinn
- Malik Taus, the Peacock Sultan—E. Hoffmann Price
- Sing Lee Bawledout—F. Lee Baldwin
- Ivor K. Rodent—Hugo Gernsback
- Rev. D. Vest Wind—Unknown
- Klarkash-Ton—Clark Ashton Smith
- Windy City Grab-Bag—Weird Tales
- W. Peter Chef—W. Paul Cook
- Smearum & Weep—Dauber & Pine
- Samuelus Philanthropus—Samuel Loveman
- Mr. De Merit—A. Merritt (author of The Dwellers in the Mirage)
- Wurst’s Weekly Americana—Hearst’s American Weekly
Behind the Mythos[]
In addition to Barlow's Glossary reproduced above, some people appear in the story under their real names, including Lovecraft's friends Arthur Leeds, Harry Brobst, and Vrest Orton, and popular pulp writer Otis Adelbert Kline. The trio of musicians called De Silva, Brown, and Henderson are a reference to Buddy DeSylva, Lew Brown, and Ray Henderson.
Despite being little more than a series of affectionate jokes aimed at the authors' friends and colleagues, "The Battle that Ended the Century" does borrow a few elements from the Cthulhu Mythos. Namely, there is a reference to "the primal serpent-god of Valusia", and August Derleth and Clark Ashton Smith are represented by their familiar literary stand-ins: the Comte d'Erlette and Klarkash-Ton, respectively. However, since the story takes place in the year 2000, these are likely to be regarded as distinct from the d'Erlette and Klarkash-Ton referenced in the original Mythos, which are both historical figures. If anything, their portrayal here is closer to their real life inspirations, for instance: d'Erlette is presented as the author of a book called Morning in September, similar to Derleth's Evening in Spring, whereas Klarkash-Ton is noted as an artist, just like the real Smith, with an affinity for drawing fungi.